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Title: The Dark Side of Love: The Positive Role Of Negative Feelings
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Manufacturer: Transaction Publishers
List Price: $24.95
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| The Dark Side of Love: The Positive Role Of Negative Feelings by Transaction Publishers Insightful and refreshingly bold. | | I read this book after reading Brigid Brophy's, "Black Ship to Hell," and was well rewarded with finding that Jane Goldberg had tackled the Eros/Thanatos connection with a bold re-estimation of the function of "negative" emotions and how they are not only beneficial, but also, necessary to our individual identity. While another reviewer labels her as Freudian, it should be remembered that Freud is the father of modern psychology and his theories have initiated a deeper understanding of human nature. It could even be said that Freud and Jung (who originally studied under Freud) say the same thing, just in a different way. Erik Erikson, who is popular among many is also "Freudian," and devotedly so. What I liked most about, "The Dark Side of Love," was that the author provides concrete examples and explanations without over-generalizing the concepts and ideas into aphorisms, and even debunks some of the aphorisms used by therapists to manipulate their patients. The authors "evolutionary" description of the psyche and her committment to the individual self is progressive when compared to those beliefs and "truths" that attempt to subjugate the individual and pressure surrender to "the good of the many," or expound mystical self-annhilation under religious tenets. All-in-all, I would recommend this book to anyone who is genuinely interested in self-improvement, and is looking to evolve beyond the ordinary. | | The Dark Side of Love: The Positive Role Of Negative Feelings by Transaction Publishers A Limited, but Quite Valuable, Look at Why We get so Messed Up | Jane Goldberg is a Freudian through-and-through, and so has a tendency to say that such-and-such is "always" caused by this, or "always" a sign of that. But she's a fun Freudian, going through the tales of Oedepus and Narcissus with a surprisingly relevant take, and skillfully folding in references to Shakespeare and the like.
Her basic premise is that we don't learn how to deal with hate and anger as children, being told instead that "hate is a four-letter word" and "if you don't have something nice to say..." For a society that's long recognized that children who don't learn about love grow up to be adults who don't know how to love, we're very slow (which is why the book is still so relevant even though it was published in 1993) to see that the same is true about hate. Hate (rage, irritation, jealousy, aggression) is a powerful emotional that deserves recognition and respect. Goldberg argues compellingly for a change in our approach to anger "management."
The prose is, unfortunately, highly repetitive, but you get used to it. It's still a useful and intelligent read. I particularly recommend it for people who are still new to self-analysis. | | The Dark Side of Love: The Positive Role Of Negative Feelings by Transaction Publishers One of the BEST books I have EVER read. Most recommended. | | A remarkably well-written book - a MUST for everyone's library. It is a book about all of us, and on how to understand and manage *love* - this most important aspect of each of our lives. It is a more than worthy successor to such classics as Erich Fromm's "The Art of Loving," Thomas Harris's "I'm OK, You're OK," and M. Scott Peck's "The Road Less Traveled." If you should have the even the *slightest* reason to do so, I would strongly urge you to *read* this book! William Antonio Boyle, 17 April 1999. | | The Dark Side of Love: The Positive Role Of Negative Feelings by Transaction Publishers Book Description | | Many mothers have disturbing fantasies of killing their children. Husbands imagine, with guilt, cheating on their wives. Parents stand on the brink of hitting their teenage children, or may actually do so, while the teens fabricate elaborate strategies of revenge. Hurt, pain, uncontrollable rage, and other forms of abuse also make up the dark side of love. This landmark book has a bold thesis: The denied dark side of love that can show us love's true nature. By acknowledging our "negative" feelings, we can come into the full spectrum of emotion and hear the message of our darker feelings, without acting them out. Through this, we can increase our capacity for love. To explain her perspective, Jane Goldberg traces the development of love and hate from infancy. She debunks simplistic myths about mother love and portrays the mother/child bond in all its facets. She explores the hidden recesses of family love and romantic love and shows how the acceptance of constructive expressions of anger, jealousy, and competition can enhance intimacy. Drawing on case histories from her psychoanalytic practice, as well as mythic stories, Goldberg offers insights into the troubling but universal nature of the dark side of love. In a highly accessible style she explores how to develop a "psychological immune system" to protect against the potentially destructive elements in relationships and allow for a constructive expression of love's dark side. Her debate-provoking book should be read by psychoanalysts and psychotherapists, individuals who have suffered from the pains and hurts of love, and indeed, by those who are interested in human motivation and behavior. |
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