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Title: Men Who Can't Love: How to Recognize a Commitmentphobic Man Before He Breaks Your Heart
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Manufacturer: M. Evans and Company, Inc.
List Price: $15.95
Our Price: $9.01
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| Customer Reviews: |
| Men Who Can't Love: How to Recognize a Commitmentphobic Man Before He Breaks Your Heart by M. Evans and Company, Inc. reading this could endanger you | i read steven carter's book over five years ago. it was the first book i read when my relationship with my boyfriend started going south. at first, it seemed to have all the answers. he displayed the behavior described in this book.
looking back five years, i feel this book really sent me down a dangerous path. turns out my boyfriend was not "commitmentphobic" he was psychopathic.
calling what i endured a "phobia" is irresponsible. a phobia can be overcome. a phobia is harmful only to the person experiencing it.
sometimes these relationships can be WAY more complicated and dangerous than a fear of spiders or high places...
many many people diagnosed with dangerous personality disorders cannot commit. it's way more complicated than carter would have you believe.
carter, in my opinion, simply gathered up stories from suffering women and reprinted them in a book. he provides no insight, no advice, no alternatives to his "commitmentphobic" theory. he is no licensed professional, and actually, even licensed professionals have difficulty identifying a narcissist, socio or psychopath.
my gut tells me he did his followup book about narcissism because so many women contacted him about commitmentphobia and suggested narcissism to him. a little search on the web and viola! carter had his new book on narcissism - probably a weak attempt to repair the damage he did with his phobia theory.
this book is a waste of time and dangerous. it will provide no answers. don't trust carter with your mental health.
it took me five years to find the answers, after following carter down the wrong path. i finally found the answers i needed in two books - "the sociopath next door" and "without conscience."
people with serious personality disorders aren't all serial killers. experts say 1 in 25 people is a sociopath. it just means they have no conscience, and can do anything without guilt.
if your partner emotionally tortures you - i recommend you take a look at these books. "commitmentphobia" makes a joke out of something that could destroy you. | | Men Who Can't Love: How to Recognize a Commitmentphobic Man Before He Breaks Your Heart by M. Evans and Company, Inc. Wonderful wonderful book!!!!! | | I was driving myself CRAZY trying to figure out what I had done wrong because my boyfriend of 2 years had just sent me roses for our 2 year anniversary and 11 days later broke up with me and was seeing someone else less than a week later. I read this book and oh my gosh I could not believe that this book should have been written by my boyfriend because everything was him to a T!!! If you are stressing about what you could have done differently stop doing that and read this book. You will then see that it wouldn't matter what you had done or not done it wouldn't have mattered AT ALL because it is his problem not yours. It does hurt to know that you fell in love with someone that you couldn't have had from the start and you spend so much time trying to be everything he may want you to be and it is all in vain. READ THIS BOOK!!! | | Men Who Can't Love: How to Recognize a Commitmentphobic Man Before He Breaks Your Heart by M. Evans and Company, Inc. Men who can't love: how to recgonize a commitmenphobic man before he breaks your heart | | I was not at all impressed with this book. It really did not give sound advice about men who are commitmentphobic. It had a lot of stories/scenarios but no concrete advice. Save your money. Don't bother buying this book unless you are fine reading about everyone's else's stories about men they went out with that could not commit. | | Men Who Can't Love: How to Recognize a Commitmentphobic Man Before He Breaks Your Heart by M. Evans and Company, Inc. Great first step.... | This book came to me around the time I was feeling extreme pain over the behavior of a man I was involved with (not a boyfriend, couldn't even get to that stage). It detailed, through several stories, his behavior and explained why he did them-which was basically to create distance, therefore no commitment. This book brought a healing to me in that sense. I realized I wasnt particularly his problem, there were his years of baggage that he was carrying around.He couldnt just commit to me, he couldnt commit to anyone! With this book, I came to write him off as selfish, for whatever reasons, and incapable of sustaining a true relationship, even though I loved him. This book does a great job of getting you to that point..
But I also want to emphasize that theres usually a reason why we attract these kind of people and form relationships with them. NOT to put blame on the person who is receiving the bad treatment, but notice that there were signs in the beginning that you didnt recognize, notice that you thought"ok, i just need to be a little more loving and patient".This kind of stance is a sign of less than high self worth, its a fault on our end to actively protect ourselves from getting hurt before we get involved. This kind of attitude can keep attracting self absorbed and commitment phobic partners. Carter goes on to explain this in his book "Hes Scared, Shes Scared" as the active commitment phobic and the passive commitment phobic briefly. Relationships are mirrors, if we see something in someone else we don't like (his commitment phobia), its usually the universe giving you a sign to look within, you most likely have problems of your own (from the passive commitmentphobes perspective-codependency or self worth issues) that you may not have realized in the slightest sense that you had. Notice in this book, the author states that the woman, MUST move on, create a life for herself, and basically get things together on her end. He noted that when the woman did this, moved on with her life in a positive way, some commitmentphobes sincerely realized their problems and came back to make amends and make a commitment....a shift occurred in the woman for this to happen. This can also be explained in the new phenom The Law of Attraction, we are what we attract.
I recommend this book, Carters other book "Hes Scared, SHes Scared", and also Codependent No More for the passive commitmentphobes own healing and self growth. | | Men Who Can't Love: How to Recognize a Commitmentphobic Man Before He Breaks Your Heart by M. Evans and Company, Inc. Great book! | | I read this book 3 days after a breakup (literally just a couple of weeks ago), and it was a life-saver. I had been in a 3 year relationship with a man who would promise marriage and then freak out if I mentioned it. As I read the book, it was like Carter and Sokol were describing him on EVERY page! I had been agonizing over what I did wrong, and this book helped me to realize it truly wasn't me, it was him. Ladies - read this book and stop trying SO HARD! Preserve your dignity and realize that he is going to string you along for as long as you will let him. read the book and see if you find his behaviors in there. | | Men Who Can't Love: How to Recognize a Commitmentphobic Man Before He Breaks Your Heart by M. Evans and Company, Inc. Product Description | | This is the classic relationship book that started them all, now available in paperback. It informs women of the warning signs of commitmentphobia, and explains how to avoid heartbreak. |
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